Bridget Jones Has Nothing On Me

Onward & Upward

2007-08-17T14:16:00.000-04:00

Guess who's got some fatty new digs at Wordpress? Me, that's who! Update your links, and follow me over to my new and improved classy little blog:

http://catherinette.wordpress.com/

You can still email me at Catherinette.Singleton@gmail.com

No more updates will be made at this location. If you want to find out what happens with Lit'l Smokey, Simone, Michael Kors and the rest of the crew, you'll just have to follow me over to my home.

See you there!

Go, Go Speed Dater: Part 5

2007-08-16T14:19:00.000-04:00

Now, my friends, we come to the "best" date of all: The Trekkie!! This guy was the epitome of a dork. Seriously, I can't imagine anyone dorkier than this poor kid. Tall, gangly, glasses, pants a little to short, very uncomfortable in his own skin, and to top it all off completely socially awkward. He kept squirming in his seat, adjusting his white socks, checking on his pleather (plastic/leather) backpack, and pushing his glasses back up his nose. I don't know about you, but this is just not what I'm drawn to. There's not a thing about him that made me think, "Me-ow! I have got to get me some of that."

Oh the riveting and engaging conversation we had:

CS: Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Catherinette. [I extended my hand to shake his.]

Trekkie: [Sets down his backpack, and gives me a limp noodle handshake] Hello.

CS: So, Trekkie, what do you do?

Trekkie: Umm. . .I. . .[glances around, adjusts glasses]. . .I work in computers.

CS: [Stifling a groan] Oh, that's nice.

Trekkie: Yeah. . .[checks on backpack]

CS: So. . .where are you from?

Trekkie: Indiana.

CS: I hear it's nice there.

Trekkie: Yeah. . .you know. . .[shifts in his seat]. . .yeah, it's nice.

CS: [Wanting to now bang my head against the brick wall] How often do you get to go back home and visit.

Trekkie: [Shifting in seat again and looking around] You know, sometimes. I visit sometimes. My family is there. So I go. To visit. I visit sometimes. My family.

CS: Right.

[Dead silence]

CS: Do you fly or drive out there? [Seriously, it was like pulling teeth and I couldn't think of anything else aside from wishing the 4 minutes were up.]

Trekkie: I like to fly. Usually [adjusting glasses, then pulling up sock before checking on backpack] I drive. Gas is expensive.

CS: Yeah, tell me about it. Must be a long drive.

Trekkie: [Nods]

CS: So, Trekkie, you enjoy traveling?

Trekkie: Uh. . .traveling? Yeah. I . . . like it.

CS: Where do you like to go? [Why isn't time up yet???]

Trekkie: To different places. You know. . .to cities. . .and stuff. [Shifts in seat again and checks on his backpack.]

CS: What's your favorite place to go? [I'm now trying not to laugh.]

Trekkie: Oh. . .my favorite? [Shifts in seat.] Well. . .I guess. . .I don't know. But I want to travel out of the country. I've never left the country before. [Shocker]

Right around here was when they announced that we were through with the event. He was my last date of the evening. After they announced that it was all over with, I was completely surprised when he said to me, "We can keep talking." I almost said, "About what?" but I kept it inside and tried to think of something to say that might make him run for the hills. I'm not sure whether I sat there for any longer than 5 minutes, but it seemed like an eternity. Thankfully, Lola got my attention and I used her as an excuse to get up and walk away from him.

My parting words to him? "Live long, and prosper."

Go, Go Speed Dater: Part 4

2007-08-16T14:00:00.000-04:00

This one was the only date that made me feel dirty. It was a very strange feeling to be sitting across from a man that looks like a shorter version of my dad. I half expected him to tell me to sit up straight and to cover myself. Me not likey the feeling. I didn't flirt with this guy, I didn't bare any cleavage-he got NOTHING. Too freaking creepy. Seriously

My dad is actually much more entertaining than this guy. He's really quite amusing-at least I think he is because we have the exact same sense of humor. My dad lives out on Hawaii, has a sweet ass job, and a fatty fat house. This guy enjoys budget traveling and staying in hostels. My idea of budget traveling is staying in a 3 star hotel instead of a 4 star hotel. Girlfriend doesn't own a backpack and isn't planning on getting one any time soon. Let's not even discuss hostels, I stayed in one once, when I was in 4th grade. I got mono, not a happy memory.

I might have considered it for a split second if he had told me he owned a mansion in Bermuda, or a flat in London. Perhaps he could have turned out to be my sugar Daddy. . .

[I just threw up a little just thinking about it.]

Go, Go Speed Dater: Part 3

2007-08-16T12:01:00.000-04:00

Vladimir was not your typical dork. He did not wear glasses made in the 80’s, he did not have a comb over, nor did he wear pants that indicated he was preparing for the great flood. What made Vladimir a dork was his wicked annoying personality. He was kind of like an angry dork. When he first sat down in front of me I knew he was not the one for me, but figured that he’d at least be a break from the older creepy dorks. Yeah, not so much. Here’s my version of our conversation:

CS: I notice you have an accent. Where are you from?
Vladimir. Guess, everyone else has guessed right so far.
CS: [Playing dumb because the name and accent gave it away] Russia?
Vladimir: [Enraged by my correct response] How does everyone know that?!
CS: Um. . .I don’t know. I just guessed. [Quickly switching to a topic I thought was safer] What do you do?
Vladimir: Guess. Everyone has been right on that one too.
CS: [F*ck, I thought to myself] Well, it seems like most of the guys I’ve met so far are either in IT or they work for the government. Let’s say, IT?
Vladimir: What are you saying? That only guys that work in IT come to these things because we’re losers??
CS: Um. . .no-it’s just that it seems like people here are either in IT or the government. I just took a guess and said IT.
Vladimir: So you I can’t work for the government because I’m Russian??
CS: No! [Quickly thinking of how to change the subject] I’m sure that many of the women here are from the same field. Maybe teachers?
Vladimir: I did meet a few teachers. What do you do?
CS: I’m a Training Consultant.
Vladimir: So you’re a teacher, too?

Thankfully, this concluded our very long 4 minutes.

Go, Go Speed Dater: Part 2

2007-08-15T16:24:00.000-04:00

Brown Poly Pants is the one date that I was dreading the most. Let me describe Mr. Brown Poly Pants:

The Outfit: Clearly, he was wearing brown polyester pants. This was very classily matched with a thin, short-sleeved, button down "dress" shirt. Underneath, he had on a navy blue t-shirt. Lord only knows why. As for the shoes, I couldn't bring myself to look at them.

Physical Appearance: Brown Poly Pants (now known as BPP because it's getting annoying typing out his God given name) was about 5'3"-that's a good 5 inches shorter than I am (even more if you factor in the heels I was wearing). He was bald. His bald head did very little to detract from his pot-belly. If I didn't know any better, I would have guessed that he was about 7 months pregnant.

Bonus: To top it all off, he had a lisp.

He very much reminded me of Hairy McBacksweat*, who I dated many years ago (when I was fat and going through hard times). He reminded me of a much older version of Hairy McBacksweat. Hairy McB used to do this fake lisp which was pretty amusing from time to time. When BPP sat across from me and started talking to me, I almost laughed out loud.

The chemistry was undeniable!! I had to contain myself to not immediately jump out of my terribly uncomfortable chair and mount him. I took a sip of my truly horrible cocktail to regain composure. Then we chatted about stuff. I have no recollection of what we talked about. I do remember, however, that I was going to be a total bitch when he sat down. Then I thought, "No! You cannot do that to your readers. They will be so disappointed in you. You must pretend to like him." And so I did. Mama flirted like a champ. I leaned forward so he could look down my dress, I maintained eye contact. I laughed when he made a joke-at least I think it was a joke.

Thankfully, the 4 minutes went by quickly. I did not put an "x" in the yes box next to his name.

Bye-bye, BPP, it was nice to meet you!! I'm sure I'll be seeing your face in a mug shot when you get arrested for soliciting sex from an undercover police officer.

*We shall leave the story of Hairy McBacksweat for a rainy day.

Go, Go Speed Dater: Part 1

2007-08-15T16:04:00.000-04:00

As you all know Lola, Muffy, and I did some speed dating yesterday. It was our first time, we didn't know what to expect, nor did we have any idea how it would turn out. I shall break this out in a riveting 5 part expose:

The Pre-Dating Scene
Bachelor #1: Brown Poly Pants
Bachelor #2: Russian IT Dork
Bachelor #3: My Dad
Bachelor #4: The Trekkie

The rest of this posting contains the description of what happened before the dating started. Please to enjoy:

I had about 15 minutes to get ready after work before meeting up with Lola and Muffy. I cautiously checked myself out in the mirror. Cute dress? Check! Good hair? Check! Legs look good in the shoes? Check! Make-up? Check! Simone looking wicked red and angry? Check! Check!

Muffy was kind and gracious enough to volunteer to serve as driver to Greenbelt Metro Station. Sadly, it fell to me to navigate. Typically, I'm pretty good with directions. Last night, not so much. We ended up going into the city via New York Ave.-lovely and scenic route. No, really. Miraculously we ended up where we were supposed to (no thanks to me), found a good spot, and headed over to the bar.

When we walked in, my first impression was, "Where the hell is everyone?" There were all of 8 people in the bar, 2 of them worked there. We sauntered over to the bar to order us up some mojitos. Mine came complete with wilted mint! Mmm, mmm, good!! As we sat there, I noticed that there were several creepy looking men walking around, all by their lonesome. It occurred to me that they were there for the event. This horrified me. It was not what I signed up for!!

Sure, I had a feeling that we'd be hanging out with some dorks, but never in a million years did I think that we'd be hanging out with semi-retired middle aged dorks! We're too young and cute for that. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about older men-just as long as they are George Clooney or his long lost, successful twin brother. The pot bellied, balding, short man just doesn't do it for me.

It was horrifying enough sitting there knowing that I would soon be sitting across from these men. You can imagine how delighted I was when I saw a girl walk in wearing the exact same fucking dress that I was wearing. That's right boys and girls: the same dress. What are the odds?? Of course, yours truly was rocking the dress, on her it looked more like a black potato sack. Thankfully, she turned around and left after about 5 minutes. I can only imagine what it would have been like having to hear, "Oh! There's another girl here wearing the exact same thing!" That would have been wonderful.

We sat there for about 30 minutes watching more people drift in. Suddenly, the bar was packed. There was a semi-cute boy here and there. Then, they started calling for us to take our places at the tables. I made my way to the bar, ordered the world's most disgustingly foul cocktail (I knew it was going to be bad when the bartender kept smelling the juice to make sure it hadn't gone bad), and bravely made my way to an empty seat. We had 28 dates, each lasting 4 minutes. I know you don't want to hear anything about the average ones are the good ones, so I will present you with the best of the worst.

I did my flipping best to flirt my ass off with the worst ones. I did it all for you, just so I would be able to entertain you with my tragic encounters. I hope you're happy.

Yet Another Conversation Between You & Me

2007-08-15T10:14:00.000-04:00

You: So?? How’d it go last night?
Me: I’m so freaking tired right now. I just want to throw back some ibuprofen and crawl back into bed.
You: Come on!! I want some details!
Me: Well, I’m really tired, I have the cocktail flu, and I don’t want to be here right now. Also, Simone is getting bigger by the second and I’m afraid she’s going to start demanding an allowance. I’m not too pleased with her right now.
You: You know that’s not what I meant!! Tell me about last night!
Me: I had one of the most disgusting cocktails on earth. All I remember was that there was ginger in it, it had a kick ass name and a terrible spicy flavor. Awful. God awful. Never ever order the Maldito Amor at Chi-cha Lounge. Swear to me that you won’t do it. Promise me right now!
You: I SWEAR! Now freaking tell me about the speed dating.
Me: Would you like to hear about Brown Poly, the Trekkie, Russian IT Dork or my Dad?
You? WHAT WHAT WHAT?? Your dad was there?? That’s f’ed up! Did you get matched up with your dad?? I think you could actually sue. Right? Incest is illegal. What the hell kind of place did you go to?
Me: It wasn’t actually my dad, it just looked like him. It was Creepy, with a capital C.
You: God, that doesn’t sound so good.
Me: What are you talking about? How could you not want to go out with those upstanding bachelors? They were so. . .um. . .er. . .um. . .interesting.
You: I want to know about all of them!!
Me: You’ll just have to wait and read the next posting. . .
You: You're a bitch, Catherinette.
Me: I know, but you love me!

Can You Do Me a Favor?

2007-08-15T08:23:00.000-04:00

The next time that I decide to go out on a school night, enjoy 1 too many cocktails, and get home at 1:00 in the morning, can one of you please remind me that it’s a bad idea? Me no likey the cocktail flu in combination with an 8:30 meeting. Why I thought it was a good idea to get all boozy Suzy last night is beyond me.

Ugh, someone, anyone, please put me out of my misery.

Magical Cocktails

2007-08-14T13:48:00.000-04:00

In the 2007 edition of Baltimore Magazine's Best of Baltimore issue, Nasu Blanca was rated as having the best cocktails in the area. Being a connoisseur of cocktails, I arranged an evening of drinks with Lola, Muffy, and Lush. The restaurant is in a cute little house in Federal Hill on Fort Ave., the bar is tiny. Sadly, the prices of the cocktails are not as small as the cocktail menu. We were there for serious business: to try Baltimore's best cocktails. We ordered the Shiso Fine and the Gin & Juice Martini.

Excellent presentation, fairly tasty, and just not quite up to par with the most wondrous cocktails of all-the ones at Ixia. After a round of drinks, we decided to stop playing games and just go to Ixia. Lord only knows why we bother going anywhere else. A few weeks ago I wrote about my profound love for the Mt. Vernon establishment. It's a supremely wonderful and magical land: kind of like Narnia for adults.

How Ixia didn't receive the award for Baltimore's best cocktails is a mystery that will never be solved. Kind of like who killed Marilyn Monroe or why Tammy Faye Baker chose the make-up she did. We should send Veronica Mars in to solve the mystery, sadly, her show has been cancelled. But I digress! We ordered a delicious round of drinks, and then went over to the nitro bar. Not only was my hot bartender there, but so was the hot executive chef. They chatted us up and made divine drinks for us with their liquid nitrogen.

Seriously, why would want a plain old cocktail when you can have one that is all mystical, made with cotton candy and smokey? Come on, people?? Get with it!

I plan on seeing you all at Ixia some time really soon.

Zit Had To Be You

2007-08-13T13:04:00.000-04:00

Lola, Muffy, Michael Kors, and I are embarking on an exciting adventure tomorrow evening: 4 minute dating. We're off to Washington, D.C. to attempt to meet hot, eligible bachelors. Having never done speed dating before, I'm not sure what to expect. I'm guessing that one of two things will happen:

1) We will find ourselves in a room full of single women, and 6 single guys-all of which are dorks,

2) There will be 4 hot guys, none of which I will be matched with.

I can guarantee the following, however, there will be a most riveting posting on Wednesday. Oh yes, my people, you'll get the full on scoop.

Of course, I'm so excited about this adventure that I've decided to go ahead and break out. Woo hoo, look out DC bachelors: my pimple and I are coming to get you. Simone, as I so lovingly refer to her (she's a frequent visitor), and I are going to charm all the single mens. They will not be able to look away-kind of like a train wreck. What really irks me is that now I'm going to have to go for super cleavage in order to draw attention from Simone. Here I was going to take it down a notch, guess I can't now. They won't know whether to look at my cleavage or at Simone.

Thanks, Simone. No, really, thank you. Seriously, when will this breaking out nonsense end??

Behold. . .

2007-08-13T11:59:00.000-04:00

Today the "Behold" series begins. This will be a riveting and enthralling series introducing you to things that will immediately improve your life and sense of meaning.

For our first installment I introduce you to the world's most uncomfortable shoes. Imagine walking around with bear traps on your feet. Sure, they look hot, but they are so painful that they bring tears to my eyes everytime I have to leave my desk.

No Pressure: Part 2

2007-08-10T08:17:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I wrote about how my little nephew called me and told me he wanted me to have babies. Shortly after that conversation, I was on the phone with my mom. She was highly amused by the whole thing. Then the call took a strange turn. Below is a transcript:

Mom: So, I know this doctor that goes to Al-Anon to meet people.
CS: Al-Anon? The support group for friends and families of alcoholics?
Mom: There are a lot of really nice people that go there.
CS: That seems really desperate.
Mom: Well, her father is a gambler, and she's said she's met a lot of interesting people.
CS: Um, I don't know how to tell you this, but no one I know is a drinker.
Mom: That's not the point. The point is, that you go out there and you start meeting people. You're not going to be young forever, you know.
CS: Thanks for the vote of confidence, mom. No, really.
Mom: Clearly what you've been doing isn't working for you. Why don't you try something new?
CS: Maybe I could go hang out at the bus station and see who I run into there. How about that?
Mom: This is serious!
CS: Right. Yeah. Whatever. I'll get right on it.

I was telling my sister about the conversation last night, and she was on the floor laughing. We decided that I had been too narrow minded in my search for men. From here on out, I will open up my horizons and begin including the following as potential candidates for a long term, loving, healthy relationships:

Prison inmates
Addicts
Sexual Predators
Survivors of Extreme Abuse

Yes, it's a good plan. I like it.

No Pressure

2007-08-09T15:27:00.000-04:00

So my 2 and 1/2 year old nephew called me today to tell me he wants me to have kids. He wants some cousins. Yeah, that's just what I need. My mother and sister already harass me all the time. It's going to be superb to have yet another person on my case.

Great.

2007-08-08T08:16:00.001-04:00

Back in the day, which according to Dane Cook was a Thursday, when I still managed new hire classes (and then dated them the second they were through with training), I used to have interns. These weren't little high school or college interns, they were full on employees. Our internship program consisted of "borrowing" someone from the business to help us with the grunt work. You know: making my lunch, taking my stuff to the dry cleaners, washing the car, etc.

Anyway, I was fortunate enough to have a hot little intern at one point. Sure he was like 12 years old, OK he was 22, but he was young. Very young. This morning I ran into him downstairs in the cafeteria. Boyfriend just got back from the beach and was looking mighty fine with his tan. Hot. God I miss the days of dating young employees.

No more interns for me. None. Meanwhile, Foxy Luv has a new intern every 30 seconds. Sadly, they're always chicks. Boo!! She's had only one fine (and I mean fine) intern. He was hot like fire. And guess what else: he totally wanted me. Sure, he hadn't realized it yet and was convinced that he loved his stupid girlfriend, but I knew it when he decorated my cubicle with 300 + post it notes. That's love, kids.

So Stupid!!!!!

2007-08-08T07:50:00.000-04:00

Last night I went out to dinner at Oceanaire with Un-boyfriend. I did something that was extremely stupid last night-I'm talking criminal offense stupid. I'm still so angry at myself for letting this whole thing happen. I even warned myself that it was going to happen, yet I did it anyway. Stupid, stupid, stupid!!

We got to dinner way early, sat at the bar and had some drinks (mmm. . .cucumber margarita). He demanded that I explain why I have been so short with him lately, I blew him off and ogled a hot waiter. We were finally seated, ordered, had another drink (mmm. . .wild berry mojito), ate, and left. He tried to get me to sympathize with him about how Poor Soul was driving him crazy. Here's a thought: stop leading her on. No sympathy for him. He's old enough to know better.

This is where the stupid part comes in. He needed a ride home. I threw my food in the trunk because he was threatening to take my left over calamari, and drove him home. He kept asking me if I thought that he could get out of seeing Poor Soul (she's leaving for a trip today), and I told him to grow some balls and break-up with her. I dropped him off, and went home.

Here's where the stupid comes in: I left the most delicious calamari and an entire 5 oz fucking crab cake in the trunk of my car. UGH!! Such deliciousness wasted!! I woke up at 1:00 in the morning and that's when I realized my mistake. I had half a mind to jump out of bed, and run outside to grab the food. Sure it might have gone bad in the sweltering heat, but it was so damn good! The neighbors would have been delighted to see a crazed woman in a white nightgown running around outside at such a late hour. I made the decision to just curse myself, rollover, and go back to sleep.

Damn it. I'm pissed.

The Passage of Time

2007-08-07T10:20:00.000-04:00

"Time is a gift, give to you, given to give you the time you need, the time you need to have the time of your life." Norton Juster

Seriously? It's only 10:24? I've been here for only 3 hours? Ugh, feels like a lot more than that.

Too bad that the company for which I work isn't aware of this whole "time as a gift" thing. This is certainly not the time of my life.

Good Times with Lit'l Smokey

2007-08-06T15:42:00.000-04:00

Last Friday, Lit’l Smokey and I had an hour long conversation about our shared dislike for Little Bus. She is a very strange young lady. After a romantic time in his cubicle, he informed me that he was leaving for the day. Rat bastard! How dare he just take off an hour early? Sure, he was supposed to have the entire day off and had come in to finish some work, but still!

The following exchange occurred via text messaging.

CS: I hate you for leaving me alone with her.
LS: BFF. Enjoy.
CS: I hate you.
LS: Do you think she hates us?
CS: She hates me but she loves you. She calls herself Mrs. Smokey when you’re not around.
LS: Mmm. . .I love me some bone hard flat ass.
CS: That’s hot.
LS: She likes to be tied up with hemp rope and covered with organic whipped soy light cream.

I laughed so hard at the last statement. I was afraid she’d turn around and ask me what was so funny. Thankfully, she had her earphones on and was listening to some of her lame ass club music. Or perhaps a pod cast on protecting the manatees. Not sure which one. . .

Mmm. . .food

2007-08-06T10:44:00.000-04:00

Last week was a very special and magical week here in Baltimore: Restaurant Week. Lord only knows who came up with the concept, but said person needs to be thanked immediately if not sooner. This clever genius convinced tons of fabulous dining establishments to offer a fixed price menu for dinner (some even for lunch). It’s a popular week in town as scores of famished people rush off to try all sorts of new and exciting places. My friends and I are no exception. Last week we managed to take advantage of restaurant week on several nights.

Tuesday we found ourselves at Timothy Dean Bistro in Fells Point. I use two words to describe it: overrated and unimpressive. Don’t waste your time, you’ll end up still hungry at the end of the night and pissed that you spent so much money on nothing. Instead of telling you about the disappointing food we ate, I’ll tell you about the most exciting point in the evening. On my way back to my car-while I was debating whether or not I would stop for fast food on the way home because I was still hungry-I came across someone passed out on the sidewalk. This isn’t a sight that I’m used to seeing. I figured the right thing to do would be to call 911, and make sure this person wasn’t dying from heat stroke or something. 5 minutes later, I found my car blocked in by 3 ambulances. Turns out that this woman has stoned out of her mind and had just passed out on the street. Nice. Klassy. To punish me for calling them, the 3 ambulances didn’t move for a good 15 minutes. I just sat in my car like a dumb ass. It was great!!

Wednesday, Un-boyfriend, Lola and I went to Sascha’s 527. That place is definitely worth a return visit. Both the service and food were excellent. The added bonus is that I’m friends with a friend of the hot guy that runs the place. He was pretty to look at. Plus, they are conveniently located directly across the street from Ixia. You know that we walked over there for a cocktail after dinner.

The best night of pigging out on food, occurred on Friday. Muffy, Lola, Lola’s dad, and I went to Oceanaire. Good god that place was fabulous. FABULOUS!! It was so good, in fact, that I’m going back there tomorrow night with Un-boyfriend. He and I aren’t getting along very well recently, but I’ll suk it up and deal with him if there’s a wild berry mojito and some calamari involved.

A Career Tip from Catherinette

2007-08-03T13:21:00.000-04:00

This one goes out to all the young "ladies" who have just graduated from college and are trying to make a good impression in their first "real" job.

Ladies, if you're going to compare drunk hook-up stories, either: lower your voices OR find a secluded table that's not right next to a high traffic area.

In the 3 minutes that I stood next to the microwave today, I heard all about:

one girl's adventures skinny dipping with a "hot guy" she had a crush on, while her friends watched;
another girl's account of how she went to a party with her ex and his hot friend, and that the hot friend got into a HUGE fight with his girlfriend during an intense game of I Never. Apparently, the girlfriend of the hot friend accused him of sleeping with someone else;
A sorority girl's account of some strange drinking game where she had to lick a lollipop and then pass it on to someone she had hooked up with. Then that person had to lick the lollipop and give it to someone else he had hooked up with, and so on and so on. It seems as though the lollipop made it all around the sorority house that night.

Klassy.

Busy Little Bee

2007-08-03T11:18:00.000-04:00

People, I'm so very busy and important. I remember when I used to sit around at home on the weekends and wonder why I didn’t have a life. Now I’m freaking tired all the time because of my busy social calendar. My popularity is exhausting to me. Who has time for a boyfriend when there's so much stuff going on? Seriously, take a look at what August has in store for Michael Kors and me:

1st: Sascha’s, drinks at Ixia with Lola and Un-boyfriend
2nd: Work happy hour to welcome the guy that got the job over me
3rd: Oceanaire with Lola and Muffy
4th: Kick ass pool party
5th: Movies with Un-boyfriend
7th: Oceanaire with Un-boyfriend
8th: Movies with Muffy
9th: Volunteering at the American Visionary Arts Musuem
11th: Little Havana and Nasu Blanca with Muffy and Lola
12th: Outlets with Muffy, Mischa, and KK
14th: 4 minute dating at Chi-cha’s in DC with Muffy and Lola
18-19th: NYC with Muffy and Lola
21-23rd: Baby-sit niece and nephew while my sister’s in London (I hate her).
31st: Leave for vacation

Somewhere in there I have to make time to watch season 2 of Veronica Mars and flirt with Lit'l Smokey. So busy.

If you’re planning on stalking me, just look for the red carpet and all the cameras-the paparazzi always follows me around nowadays. Look for the hot girl with the smoking rack and the honey colored Michael Kors bag.

You Like?

2007-08-02T09:39:00.000-04:00

An Important Question for Humanity

2007-08-01T11:56:00.001-04:00

Why in God's name is my computer mouse sticky??

My New BFF

2007-07-31T12:00:00.000-04:00

I made a new friend on Saturday night, and she’s been keeping me up late ever since as I learn all about her entire life! She’s a pretty cool girl that Lola introduced me to. You see, she works in her dad’s detective agency, and she’s still in High School! Her best friend (Lily) was murdered about a year ago and she’s trying to help solve the mystery of who killed her. Meanwhile, her now ex-boyfriend is dating one of her friends, she totally got dissed by this hot guy (Troy), and her mom has disappeared.

What makes matters worse is that she’s totally been made an outcast at her school. She used to be part of the cool crowd until her dad went after one of the most prominent men in town for Lily’s murder. It doesn’t help much that Lily was the sister of my new friend’s now ex-boyfriend, Duncan. Duncan is kind of OK, but he has this friend, Logan-now that kid is a dick. Kind of hot, but still a dick. Still, I feel sorry for him because Logan’s mother supposedly jumped off a bridge after Logan’s dad (a famous movie actor) had a series of affairs.

Seriously, this girl leads a crazy life. I’m intrigued by every little bit of it.

I love you, Veronica Mars, and I can’t believe that we’ve just met. How had I missed you on TV before? HOW? Thankfully, I’m through almost all of season 1 on DVD. Sure, I watched 6 episodes last night and was up until almost 1:00 AM (on a school night, people), but that’s not important.

No, I’m not a dork. Seriously, I’m not.

Things That Go Bump In The Night

2007-07-31T11:48:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I posted about how waking up at 3:00 AM freaks me out. Here are 2 other things that make me want to pee myself in the night.

Sleeping with the closet door open: When I was a little girl, my dad told me that the Boogey Man lived in the closet. My sister and I were so impacted by this little tale of his that both of us refuse to have the closet door open at night time. There's no way that I'm sleeping with that GD door open-not going to happen. When I dated both Mr. Big X and Un-boyfriend, they'd make fun of me. They both were highly amused at the fact that I would refuse to turn the lights off unless the closet doors were shut. As a matter of fact, Un-boyfriend found it hysterically funny to turn off the light, jump out of bed, open the closet door, and then jump back in bed. I would immediately have to hide under the covers until the door was shut.
Laying in bed with any of my limbs hanging off the edge of the bed: You just never know who/what is under the bed. I don't want something/someone to grab me and pull me under. I won't even let my fingers dangle off the bed. Way too scary for me.

I am a chicken, yes, I admit it.

Twitching From Fear at the Witching Hour

2007-07-30T17:50:00.000-04:00

Two years ago, my mom and I went to see The Exorcism of Emily Rose. For those of you that haven't seen it, it's a scary little thriller about a chick who is possessed by the devil, and the subsequent trial that occurs after her mysterious death. When the movie was released there was all sorts of hype about how it was really a court room drama and not a horror movie at all. I say pashah to those stupid bastards. That movie was scary as all get out! It makes it even scarier that the movie is based on a true story. That gives me the heebee jeebees.

In the movie, they explore the concept of the witching hour. Ever since I saw it-again, that was 2 years ago-I have a little panic attack if I wake up anytime near 3:00 am. For that very reason, I refuse to look at the clock if I have to get up in the middle of the night to visit the loo. Every once in awhile, however, I happen to glance at it when I'm hopping back into bed. Nine times out of ten, it's 3-something-er-other. Then I lay awake in bed all freaked out thinking that freaky things are going to happen to me. I don't like it one little bit.

Stupid Emily Rose. I hate you for making me scared 2 years after your stupid movie.